Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert?
Or maybe you are not even sure because you switch between the two depending on who you are with?
That used to be me.
The Introvert
As a child, I was quiet, reflective and shy. My extended Greek family were loud and opinionated, and I had around 2000(!) older, bolder cousins who all tried to out-do each other on who could win in a discussion. This environment kept me in the role of observer and learner, and I retreated to my books to gain some clarity and peace.
I “came out of my shell” in my late teens and 20’s. I was an avid learner and prioritised my education. I found this was something I was successful at and through my academic achievements, my confidence grew, I found likeminded friends and I started to have fun!
Maybe I was an extrovert after all?
My first real test of this all was when I first joined an accountancy firm.
My naturally quiet and observant nature meant I resisted large groups and needed to be super comfortable before asking questions (especially publicly). My behaviour meant I did not fit in AND I did not stand out.
I felt overlooked and minimised and for once, I wasn’t the most academic one there and couldn’t rely on just being ‘book smart’ to shine.
I needed a new strategy...
So I tried out the “fake it until you make it “approach..
It worked. A little too well.
Suddenly, people noticed my skills and abilities. I started to feel accepted. At last my career started to reap the rewards. External validation ☑️
The message I received from the world was loud and clear:
Extroversion = 👍
Introversion = 👎
But the cost of this pretence was too great.
My fear of being rejected or overlooked meant I worked so hard to be the extrovert that I thought I needed to be that I forgot to embrace the introvert within.
After many years, something inside me snapped and I retreated inwards.
I gave myself time..
I spent some time getting REALLY clear about who I was and what I valued.
I’d had enough of striving to be something I thought I needed to be!
Then I did something really special… I invested in myself and my development.
I began to LOVE the real me.✨
The real me
In truth, I’m a multitude of things.
Sometimes I am extroverted, in the right company & if I am in the right headspace.
But most importantly…
I am introverted and also, I love people.
Helping them and connecting with them, not superficially, but on a deeper level. I can now see what a powerful blessing this is for me as a coach and for my clients. I get to listen, reflect and help others gain clarity and perspective that they cannot achieve by themselves.
